Friday, July 16, 2004

"Redneck Southern Belle"


Being a “Southern Belle” is more than your proximity to that portion of America below the Mason-Dixon Line. It is a life style you carry with you no matter where you happen to plant yourself at any point in life. It’s an attitude, a self confidence often displayed in forms that ‘foreigners’ (you know who I mean, those Not from south of abovementioned Line) have a problem with. That “I know who I am and I am damn proud of it” that comes across when we talk to outsiders who dare to look at us like some sort of bug they need to squash. Southern pride is impenetrable and immeasurable, a fortress ingrained around our soul, hiding a tender and caring heart. Southerners have a cockiness, a surety of who we are and where we came from, a deep-rooted and genuine feeling of oneness we all seem to share.
A ’belle’ attitude is ingrained from birth, passed down from Mother to daughter, an unquestionable surety that we are worthy of bearing the name, carrying the title and passing it on to future generations. An in-your-face posture that offends some, but puts up one step ahead of the rest of the world. It’s the ability to make something from less than nothing, to overcome obstacles and smile sweetly as you cross that mountain others said you would never scale. No matter what! It’s visiting your elderly neighbors across the way and offering a helping hand without being asked. And expecting nothing in return other than a thank you kindly and a grin. It’s loving your family, no matter how dysfunctional, even if they do nothing to deserve it.
We are a class, a distinction, a whole entire group of ladies who depend on no one but ourselves and care nothing for what others think. We are bold, brassy and assertive. We say please and Thank You, and expect the same in return from those we come into contact with. Yes Sir and No Ma’am are instilled in us from birth, a gesture of honor bestowed by virtue of age and not the recipient’s worthiness. A southern belle allows, nay, expects, her men folk to open doors and seat them graciously, although they are perfectly able to do it for themselves. We show respect when it is merited, have little time for fools and never expect something for nothing. We are independent and honorable, worthy and faithful, both to ourselves and those we love. Our standards are high for our sisterhood and those around us.
Being a Redneck Southern Belle is, in every sense of the word, a lifetime of forging ahead and making life the way you intended it to be. It’s carrying on traditions, making the choices needed to stay true to your roots and heritage. Women, strong women, from the beginning of time, have kept their families together and this world moving forward. Southern women are those women, liberated, courageous and committed to securing the present and future for our daughters and for the daughters of the South for all time.

3 comments:

Donna said...

I agree with you in theory, that southern women were raised to be subsurvient. And to be honest, for 25 of my 30 year marriage, I was a door mat. That kinda changed in my house the day my oldest son started spoutting of the same crap his Daddy had aimed at me for years. The shoe dropped, the crap hit the fan and I got emancipated!Took a while, but I finally realized that this ole gal deserved better and demanded it for my own.

I, too, have gotten away from a few of the traditional rules southern women have lived by for years. Times have changed and women have come into their own, for better or worse. I am a strong willed southern woman, sure in my beliefs, in my morals and standards and plan to live my life this way until I am gone.

As for being offensive with the respect shown to elders, if it offends them, then THEY have a problem, not you with southern manners. Never be ashamed of who you are and where you come from. Being from the south doesn't mean you are backwards or underpriviledged or any of the sterotypes spouted off today. It is keeping the best of your traditions and family history alive and passing it on to the future.

I have raised my daughter, who is 17, to expect, no, to demand,the to be treated equally by everyone in her life, man or woman; to always rely on herself and be independant. Finally, I taught her self respect.....take nothing off of anyone. She is worthy, in herself, to merit respect, honor and honesty. Other than that, she can do it on her on.

Unknown said...

Manners have more to do with grace than being a doormat. I've never steped down, or back, for anyone. True, this has caused some trouble with men. But a real man loves a strong woman. That way you can rely on each other instead of only one being the stronger. And we Southern Belles can kill with kindness. Haven't you noticed we always start an insult with "Bless her heart"? We're the Queens of "nice and nasty". We smile while we go for the heart, and we never miss. Don't piss off a Belle, you'll have a hard time recovering from the results.

Dianne said...

I agree that to be a belle is not to be a doormat, it is only to attempt to make the male species feel that what we have told them came from their own little head. They spend so much time trying to woo us and make us feel special, that we have to act as if they are "Superman" to make them feel special.

If you have ever read any of the "Men are from Mars..." books, you would understand.
I made it my business to read the one about "Affair proofing your marriage", and found out some things about men, that I didn't even want to know. But nevertheless, I have attempted to put more of the words into action. And my MAN is acting more like I want him to act, cause I'm telling him how great and wonderful he is. Which is the truth in my case, but I just want the second 20 years to go better than the first 20.
We were both innocent, not virgins, but naive. I wish I would have seen that book "The Joy of Sex", I would have enjoyed it more in the early years. My husband was raised in foster homes and orphanages, and didn't learn the 'normal' things, and I hadn't had but a couple "slam bam thank you mam" boyfriends, so we both were very naive.

Any way, I am proud to be southern. At one job where our company was owned by "folks from above the Mason Dixon line", I was encouraged to talk slower and sooth my accent so they could understand me. I said and who is going to translate so I can understand them????
Needless to say, when the layoffs began, I was one of the first to goooooooo.

Nice writing Donna, I appreciate you.