Friday, April 28, 2006
SIX WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME?
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
The Reflection of a Year
While I am not happy Dad is gone from us, I am content that he is where he wanted to be. Don’t get me wrong, I miss him terribly, his irreverent humor, his quick wit and his domineering ways, which, at times, drove us to desperation. I still expect the telephone to ring with his demand (notice I didn’t say request - - he seldom asked but expected it anyway) for assistance at anything from digging a post hole to burying a dead dog. I listen for the sound of a heavy truck in my driveway, horn blaring loudly, filled with the command for your presence at the side window of his pick-up. An old country ballad on the radio makes me smile and tap my foot in time to the music, where before I shed tears. I love the sensation of walking where his boots trod for so many years, seeing with my eyes what he loved so deeply about the land, broad pastures and the dense woods surrounding our home. I can touch his tools and almost see the sweat glistening on his brow as he labored to complete an everyday task. It’s a feeling of peace, of quiet faith that all will be well in the future. It gives me hope that we five sisters can resolve the accumulation of nearly fifty years of marriage….. trash and treasure, without blood loss, without alienation and, most of all, without remorse or further pain.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Love Everlasting
This is my poor attempt to tell their story, second hand as it were. I have finished Pop's section, Mom's is a work in progress and their lives together will follow as I complete it. I intend, once I finish this, to print out a copy for each of my sisters.
Here goes.......
Since time began, there have been endless stories written of the “perfect love story,” a happily ever after life where no discord and hardship would ever dare to intrude upon the paradise a couple were building between the two of them. The man, dashing and handsome, comes along and sweeps the lovely maiden off her feet and into a life of glorious ecstasy and never-ending happiness. Unfortunately, love in real terms is hardly that way; the twists and turns of day to day living causes stress and strain between two people who have vowed to spend the remainder of their lives together. A true marriage is a linking of soul mates, a couple possessing the inner strength and faith to endure the worst life can throw at them and survive unscathed with the connection between their two heart’s intact. This is the true account of the courtship and marriage of my Mother and Father, a never-ending love story for them, and a blessing to their five daughters, for we now understand the true meaning of love and devotion, and hopefully, the ability to achieve it for ourselves.
The year of 1954 brought many changes to the United States. The Civil Rights movement was just beginning, bringing several significant differences to the educational system that had long been in place throughout the country. Premium gasoline was at an all time high of 20 cents a gallon and Coca-Cola had increased to the cost of 6 cents a bottle, bringing forth protests of price gouging. The cost of home rental was between $5 and $10 a month. The Korean War was just over and for the majority of soldiers leaving the military, the hope of a good job with adequate pay was merely a dream. For many, returning to their pre-war homes meant the realization that jobs were non-existent in countless rural areas, often necessitating the need to move to a new location in order to seek employment, frequently to another state entirely. Below is the story of one such newly released Soldier and the woman he chose as his bride: my parents, Abron Wayne Waters and Ilda Ruth Curnutt Waters. They met December 15, 1954 and married December 25, 1954 in Iuka, Mississippi.
Daddy
Abron Wayne Waters was born the third child on his parent’s farm in the rural Conway Community of north Alabama during September of 1928. The Great Depression, which started in 1929,was in its infancy when he was a child and life was very hard for the entire country during these times, but most especially for the rural areas of the deep South. There was little if any industry in the country areas, therefore, there were few jobs to be had for the common man, but a decent living could be made from farming and livestock if families were frugal and industrious. His parents, both hardworking and steady, were, like most of their neighbors, struggling daily to make a living off their property and raise their children. This family was representative of what is now regarded as the backbone of our country.
God was First and Foremost, Family was next. Nothing and no one came before God or Family. Growing up surrounded by the morals and values his parents lived by, he and all their children, with their careful supervision and encouragement, were taught these same characteristics. The household over the years eventually encompassed thirteen children. Everyone did their part, whether large or small, to carry the responsibilities of day to day living. A burden, no matter the size, is easier to shoulder if the load is shared. Even the younger children were taught to work at a very young age. The family was virtually self sufficient, relying on the crops they grew with their back breaking labor and sweat coupled with the meat they slaughtered and cured, either domestic or from the wild, to supply their food sources. The few things they did purchase, such as shoes, flour, sugar, cloth and other necessities were bought only as needed, for frugality was a way of life and an essential element to the survival of these families.
Formal schooling began at the age of 6 or seven for Daddy and the other children, the standard uniform for boys being blue overalls and a simple shirt, usually homemade. Shoes were optional, depending on the weather, as going barefoot was no hindrance to children raised from birth to feel the grit of the dirt between their toes. Being unshod was equally convenient for wading any branch, mud puddle or small creek they happened across on their rambles. Most only owned one pair of shoes, sometimes new, but more frequently they were hand-me-downs from an older sibling, somewhat tattered and worn, but certainly sturdy enough for at least part of another winter’s wear. The journey to school was usually completed on foot, for the horses and mules the family owned were needed to work the fields on a daily basis, weather permitting. Daddy’s daily trek was usually in the company of his siblings and cousins who lived near. To get to the school building, they had to go across the field in front of his house to the old cemetery in the woods above the farm pond, then a mad scramble through the thick woods to the opposite side and across another field to the dirt road that led to the school. During the wet winter months, the muddy roadway would be all but impassable on countless days during the wet spring and winter seasons.
The school was called Conway, a place of learning for the neighborhood children five days a week, and on the seventh day, a place of worship for the entire community. Originally called Shelton Chapel, the land for the school was donated by members of my Grandmother’s family. The school and church was a simple one room unpainted clapboard building, the only source of heat was either a fireplace or wood stove, fueled with firewood hand-cut and brought to the school by the adult males of the area. As Daddy got a bit older, it was his responsibility to arrive at the school early and to lay the fire to ensure the building’s warmth when the other students and teachers arrived. Water was obtained by the simple means of dropping an empty bucket, tied to a rope by its handle, down into a well and pulling or “drawing” it back up by hand over hand until it reached the top. All the children drank from the same dipper, hence the cause of several near epidemics that Daddy recalled (one such being Whooping Cough). Toilets were a small square building, built away from the school building and water well for sanitation’s sake. They were constructed over a pit to hold the waste and moved occasionally in order to bury the unhealthy accumulation. Daddy said when the pit was full of waste, the building was simply hoisted and carried to another location where a pit had been dug and the used pit filled over with fresh dirt.
Young boys typically get into mischief, and certainly Daddy was no different. Flips were the favorite toy of all males, both large and small. On the trips to and from school, there were many diversions to tease and entice a boy intent on looking for mischief. One such amusement was shooting anything that moved with their trusty flip. Made of a piece of leather, two strips of rubber from a discarded tire and a forked limb of wood, these treasures were most likely hidden in the pockets of overalls during school hours. (Daddy said they would “borrow” inner tubes that Granddaddy had lain by on a shelf to repair later and cut strips to use as the rubber to make these flips.) Rocks, nuts and dirt clods made excellent ammunition and could be easily obtained by simply watching the ground as they walked along. One such jaunt brought Daddy a whipping he claims to have never forgotten. He and a cousin, Garnett Gillespie, were walking home from school one summer day, and as was the norm for them, they cut close to the neighborhood wash spot, Shelton Hole, where the women of the area did their laundry. On this day, and apparently several others before, one very large lady was involved in the task of providing clean clothing for her family. For some reason her broad backside made an irresistible target to the two boys as she labored over her chore. They SHOT her, and according to Daddy, they proceeded to do it over and over again, day after day! After many threats to report them to their Fathers, they must have assumed they were in no danger of being told on, kinda like the boy who cried wolf. They were wrong, because on that fateful day, news of their prank got home before they did and my Grandfather was waiting on him as he walked across the last field toward home. He said his Father whipped him BAD, probably the worst whipping he ever got. (I didn’t ask for details. All he said was “WHEW!”, and wiped his hand over his face. That was enough for me to know it was more than I wanted to get into!)
Conway stayed in existence until Daddy was in the Fourth Grade when the building burned to the ground early one morning before time for the school bell to ring. The students from the one room school were sent to a neighboring school, Midway. It was a larger building and had more classrooms and teachers than Conway. Students could attend there through the Seventh Grade. After completing their final year at Midway, students had to travel to town for further education. The school, mostly filled with students who lived in the city and close surrounding area, was unlike the country schools Daddy had grew up in. The city boys, in particular, were ‘snobs’ and looked down on the country boys for their lack of new clothes and shoes and made fun of what they called their countrified ways. Daddy only attended school for two weeks before quitting in the face of their ridicule and harassment. He then attempted to take on the world with a Seventh Grade education and a fierce determination to succeed.
My Grandfather worked away from home a great deal of the time, doing whatever he could to earn money to provide for his family. This left my Grandmother to raise her young and growing family alone for the most part. Each and every child had to do their share of the chores, handling whatever they were able to do at the time on a daily basis. Every farm chore, from milking to feeding had to be finished and then the children went to the cotton fields. Each farmer who wished it received a Cotton Allotment from the government. This meant a farmer set aside and planted a set amount of acres and that they agreed to take a certain amount per bale for their crop per year. Each day, Daddy and his siblings went to the cotton field to tend to their crop. When they finished for the day, they would pick a bucket of field peas or whatever crop was ripe to bring home to Grandmother to cook for dinner the following day. After they ate that night, they would sit and shell the peas so they would be ready to cook. Money was scarce during this time, young men often had to hire out to other farmers as day workers in order to purchase clothing. They hoed or “chopped” cotton all day in the blistering sun for 50 cents a day. And when the cotton was ready to harvest, they were paid 50 cents per every hundred pounds they managed to pick in a day. One cold winter day while snow lay deep over the frozen ground, Daddy said he could remember Granddaddy bundling up and he and a neighbor setting out to hunt armed with nothing but big long sticks in their hands. Fresh meat was scarce in the winter months and with a large family to feed, providing food was a major chore. I questioned the use of sticks for weapons of destruction and asked didn’t Granddaddy have a gun. Daddy quickly answered with “Why take a gun? The rabbits were about frozen. All you had to do was locate a likely hole in the snow, poke around with your stick and when the rabbit came out, knock it up side the head and kill it.” Hours later when Granddaddy came home, his waist was surrounded with so many rabbits he had killed and tied around it he could hardly stumble through the snow that covered him almost to his knees. Granddaddy set Daddy and his brother to cleaning the bounty, gutting and skinning the rabbits one after another. They were packed in a salt brine inside a churn, filling it to the brim, for safe keeping. I asked him wasn’t that enough meat to supply the family for months? His replay came as a shock…..he said Grandmother cooked two rabbits along with gravy and biscuits every morning for breakfast to feed them all. The two churns of skinned rabbits lasted only a few weeks!
In 1942 the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and on December 8th of that year, President Roosevelt declared war against Japan. As the war began, the citizens of the United States soon began to feel the effects of the war. Rationing began almost immediately, starting with rubber and gasoline. Average motorists who used their vehicles for “nonessential” purposes were restricted to 3 gallons of gasoline a week. Also affected was the production of alcohol, cigarettes and every basic consumer product with the exception of eggs and dairy products. Each man, woman, and child received a ration book restricting them to a certain quota of food and essential products per week. Gas was so precious that my Grandfather would make them travel to church in the back of a horse drawn wagon instead of using the truck. The family managed to provide their own food by growing a vegetable garden. But with little way of preserving the crops, by winter time, Daddy and his siblings often ate cornbread and molasses for breakfast. They kept three or four cows to supply fresh milk and cornbread and sweet milk was often eaten as a meal as well. There were few amusements during this time either. Daddy said my Grandmother would sell the last egg from the house to enable her sons to go to town on Saturday to the 25 cent movie. For a dollar, Daddy could see three movies and enjoy popcorn and a Coke.
After leaving school, Daddy did odd jobs around his home and the neighboring farms. He did anything and everything from cutting wood to chopping and picking cotton, whatever honest labor he could find to earn money. Life was hard here in Alabama during this time, there were few jobs to be had that paid a decent wage. He was barely 15 when my Grandfather, who was a Foreman for John C. Nipp & Son, told him if went and joined the Union, he could get him a job working with him. John C. Nipp & Son was a contractor who worked at Engle Shipyard finishing out the ships that the yard built. Daddy worked there several months hanging insulation on the inside hulls of the ships that were manufactured there. He worked until warm spring weather came, then he and his cousin, Garnet Gillespie, left north Alabama for the greener pastures of the northern States.
A higher wage was paid to workers in the north and many men from the community where the Waters lived ventured there to try their hands at bring some of it home to their families. Daddy and Garnet traveled to Hartford, Michigan where they found work picking cherries at Hilltop Farms. They rented a room for $16 a week complete with a stove and refrigerator for cooking their own meals and a communal bathroom in the hall. Daddy earned more money per day picking cherries in Michigan than his Father made as Foreman in Alabama, $30 to $50 depending on how fast your hands were. With his pay, he purchased his first pair of real man’s pants to replace the overalls he normally wore. From somewhere he heard that a driver’s license could be obtained with a fake Birth Certificate. So Daddy, enterprising young man that he was, asked around until he learned how to obtain one. After shelling out $25 for the fake certificate (which had to have been a fortune in 1943), he was driving around Michigan with a fraudulent license obtained with a fake Birth Certificate. When the weather began turning cold, Daddy and most of the others returned home to the more temperate climate of north Alabama. But before he left, he bought one more thing, his first car, a 1934 Ford Coupe. He paid $150 of his earnings for that car and drove it home. Once again, he worked around the neighborhood to earn money and drew his unemployment. The money from Michigan’s unemployment was more than could be earned working a job at home.
The summer Daddy was sixteen years old, his Father gave him and Jack, his brother, a field of cotton to raise. They were to split the profits made in the fall when the cotton was harvested. Once the cotton came up, it failed to rain, meaning the crop would bring little money. Realizing this, Daddy took his last savings and bought a calf which he fattened up. He butchered the calf himself and took the meat door to door and sold it. When he had sold the entire calf, he told Jack he could have his half of the cotton field and returned north to Hartford, Michigan to look for work. He found a job picking strawberries. When the crop was finished for the year, he began to thin peaches, which entailed walking through the orchard with a big stick and knocking at least half the young peaches off the tree. This ensured that the remaining peaches would get bigger simply because there was less fruit to draw the nutrients supplied by the tree. According to Daddy this was the most dangerous job he ever had and probably the hardest. (Can you imagine having to dodge falling and flying kamikaze peach missiles as you tried to protect your head and shoulders and still see what you were doing?) When cold weather set in, he again returned home to live, working odd jobs and saving the money he had earned while working away from home. Before he left, he again bought a car in Michigan, this time a 1936 Ford. He said was the best driving and riding car they had ever made. He kept the car until the following spring, when he sold the car to his Father to get the stake to go back north to work.
The next year, he followed the same pattern, with Daddy going north to work during the summer and returning home when the weather turned cold. The summer her was seventeen or so, his brother Jack had traveled north with him. Jack couldn’t find work anywhere, so they took a job that entailed a ten mile bus trip to and from work each day. They were working for a carpenter doing finish work on houses and filling in and leveling dirt around the foundations. When Daddy got a chance to get a better paying job with less travel at Shakespeare Rod and Reels, he took it and Uncle Jack came home because he didn’t want to work alone. Daddy returned home to work with once again with my Grandfather, but while he was earning $2.65 an hour at the Kalamazoo Paper & Box Company in Michigan, the pay he earned here at home was much less, only $1.65 per hour, a difference of $40 per a 40 hour work week. It was easy to see why a young and single man would leave his home and everyone he held dear to travel to another state to work and live. The disparity in pay per week would have made all the difference in the world at that time.
The summer of 1950, Daddy and Jack could once again be found up north, Daddy working in the Caterpillar Tractor Factory in Peoria, Illinois. Uncle Jack received his Draft notice and had to answer the call, so Daddy brought him home. Ten days later, Jack walked in the door and laughing, handed Daddy his draft notice that had came in the mail. While Jack joined the Army. Daddy elected to join the Air Force. I believe his exact words were “Hell NO! I was not joining no Army!”. From what I understand, the Army was the worst of the armed forces to join for whatever reason and if he had to go, he would have a choice. If you got drafted, you went into the Army. Daddy entered active duty December 12, 1950 in Gadsden, Alabama. He was stationed at Sheppard Air Force Base in Texas and was trained to build runways and roads at various Military bases around the world. He went to Yokohama, Japan and to Korea. He was discharged September 27, 1954 and returned to Alabama.
When Daddy was released from the Air Force, he came home to north Alabama where he stayed with my Grandparents and settled in. He worked with my Grandfather in Sumpter County helping to construct two bridges until the cold weather forced them to come home. The risk of falling forty feet into the freezing water below was too much of a gamble to take. Once he returned to Lawrence County, Daddy took any odd job he could to earn money, turning his hand to any task, everything from farm work to cutting fire wood and selling it to neighboring families. Daddy and Uncle Jack also kept my Grandparents supplied with fire wood, both for the house and also for the small Country Store they owned and operated. It took two large wagon loads a week to heat both buildings.
Daddy’s cousin, N. V. Shelton had purchased a new truck. He asked Daddy to go halves with him in a venture that necessitated traveling to Cherokee, North Carolina to pick up apples and returning home and selling them. They hauled five loads, each containing 50 bushel of apples. Paying 50 cents per bushel for the apples when they purchased them, they then drove them back to Alabama and sold them for $2.00 per bushel or 75 cents for per quarter bushel. N. V. would set up a fruit stand in town in the back of his truck. Daddy would load his own flat bed pick-up and travel around the valley selling the apples door -to-door, at gins where people were crowded to sell their cotton harvest, or anywhere there were several gathered together. That was $1.75 per bushel profit and when selling ¼ bushels they made $2.50 profit, not counting the gasoline they used. Quite an enterprising idea.
After working all the daylight hours peddling apples, Daddy would hit the road, looking for something to do. He usually went to the next town, Decatur, because then, as now, Moulton had nothing happening after dark. According to him, the young men spent their time cruising up and down 2nd Avenue. I suppose it was the place to see and be seen so to speak. Another popular past time was visiting the Snack Bar in the Bus Depot located right off 2nd Avenue. Evidently the women who worked there changed shifts at 10 P. M. and the young men would line up 40 deep to get a chance to chat with them ( he said pick them up but I am trying to be nice here). One such night of carousing changed my Daddy’s life forever…………..
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Where I'm From
Here it is.
Where I’m From
I am from winding dirt roads, dusty and hot on little bare feet in the blazing heat of a summer day, that lazily meandering across the rural country side. I am from the heavenly aroma of wild sweet honeysuckle vines, twisted and clinging to rusted and sagging barbwire fences, a profusion of yellow and white blossoms and lush green leaves and vines, bumble bees swarming around my head attempting to sip the nectar the blooms provided. I am from a huge gray flat rock, jutting from the edge of the pasture into the edge of the woods and overhanging the hill that fell away to a tumbling clear creek, a passel of children roasting hotdogs, firm and red and dangling from a slim, green sapling branch, enjoying a peaceful Sunday afternoon around a pile of glowing embers.
I am from station wagons and weekly trips of grocery shopping each and every Saturday that God provided. I am from wild muscadines growing dense and green along the fencerows, the grape-like fruits were sweet and tangy and tart and delicious. I am from the cool, muted darkness of the woods, sheltered and refreshing in the summer’s blistering heat, huts made of vines and tree houses made of scavenged lumber and stolen nails and hammers. I am from the farm pond in the back pasture, deep and mysterious and clouded with red clay, muck and mud and cow patties. I am from rolling terraces of luxuriant red clover, sweet to smell and cool to the naked skin of a little girl’s leg as I tumbled downhill dodging bees.
I am from orange persimmons, tart and biting to the tongue as I waited for the bus every fall morning. I am from dotted Swiss dresses and shiny white leather shoes, frilly white little girl purses and white lacy hats at Easter. I am from lazy Saturday afternoons spent fishing with cane poles and dirty red wigglers in an old rusty coffee can along Rocky Ford, perched on the cool, damp creek bank under the cover of a thousand green leaves shading us from the sun. I am from hand churned ice cream, flavored with vanilla and eggs and rich, creamy canned milk. I am from cedar Christmas trees, chopped with an axe and dragged home, fragrant and prickly and green and decorated with Construction paper ornaments and popcorn chains.
I am from a house crowded with children and laughter and love. I am from home grown vegetables, big family dinners and spilled milk. I am from luxuriant green yards, vibrantly brilliant blue skies and the quiet hum of insects with none of today’s sounds of traffic and industry. I am from dim, dark outhouses and pure clean, clear water gushing from the ground, cool and delicious on your tongue. I am from the honest sweat of a hard day’s work staining my shirt and the feeling of accomplishment it brings at the end of the day. I am from never ending nights spent lying in the dew damp grass of the yard staring up at a million glowing stars hanging like fireflies in the night sky.
I am from 2 stick Popsicles for 10 cents and Nugrape and moon pies, stick bologna and Hoop cheese from the country store down the road. I am from long horseback rides down dusty, twisting gravel roads, from dragging home stray kittens and dogs and the occasional strange animal. I am from Sunday afternoon rambles in Mom’s car, with big Sis at the wheel, circling the Town Square trying to impress the local yokels with our charms and beauty. I am from skipping school and hiding our selves away in the Bankhead National Forest for a day of picnicking and rock climbing and a tryst of waiding in Mallard Creek's muddy red waters.
I am from the backbone of this country, farmers and blacksmiths, from Ireland and England and beyond. I am from a Cherokee princess and a voyager on the Mayflower. I am from a man I called Daddy, a sometimes harsh man, whose parents instilled the ethics and morals he passed on to his children, who worked from sun-up until sundown to provide a stable home and life for me. I am from a Mother who put my needs before her own, who played with me, sang with me and loved me unconditionally. I am from the strength and determination of a large family, giving me the wisdom that who I am, what I am is more than adequate.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Sunday, January 15, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS
Hello everyone, this is Donna's older, prettier, wiser sister Vicki aka Junebugg here to announce that Donna is now offically ..................48 YEARS OLD!
That's right, she's now over the hill.
Revenge is sweet, Donna. Remember you and Wendi decorating my yard????
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS. LOVE YOU
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Tears for Christmas
My sisters haven’t been close since our parents died, for whatever reason. It isn’t easy to be close with most working, living separate lives with different stresses and responsibilities. Tonight was the first time I felt they all cared, each and every one of us offered an invisible olive branch to the other, unqualified love and understanding and friendship. It was a wonderful feeling for me. I sincerely hope they all felt that way. Our parents would have been proud of us all……………make that were proud of us all, for I know they were there………..if not in fact, then certainly in our hearts and memories.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Simple Pleasures
Pleasure, to me, means something that one enjoys, either the doing of or the feeling it sensations it causes you to feel. It isn’t about money, or how someone else perceives you. It should be about feeling happiness and serenity……..not a constant race to one-up anyone. I remember simple joys from childhood. Things I still enjoy today, that are free for the taking if your imagination is up to the challenge. If you are daring enough to dream …
Growing up, life was simple, we worked when we were told to, we played at every opportunity, and we enjoyed most all of it with an enthusiasm I would give anything to have back. Chores shared became the simplest of tasks. Rarely, if ever, were we given a job without one or both of our parents involved to hasten the undertaking along. And with Mom, we sang together as we worked, be it the current Rock and Roll tunes blaring from the radio, or the golden oldies that Mom heard growing up in the 40’s and 50’s. Even church hymns. We sang them all, loud, off key, and with elation and exuberance in our voices and hearts. The chores were soon done, with little squabbling or fuss. That was a pleasure, because when the jailers are happy, the inmates tend to be as well.
Pleasure was home made ice cream…..rich in flavor, laden with eggs and milk and vanilla. We had an old ice cream churn, the wooden bucket and discolored with age and salt brine. Hot summer afternoons, Mom would whip up a big bowl full of this mixture and we knew what was coming. Layers of crushed ice and large flakes of salt would, after an hour or so, turn into heaven melting in the mouths of us kids. But only if you worked for it….if you didn’t turn the crank, you didn’t get any. That was the law. Every neighbor kid would soon come over to take their turn at the crank for just one small helping of the ice cold cream. I miss it. Oh, not the turning of the crank, but the rich taste of the ice cream.
Pleasure was wading the creek with my Sis. Knee deep, with the cool water rushing past our bare legs, the bottom slick with mud and fish darting about as we violated their sanctuaries. A deep thrill we enjoyed without Mom’s knowledge or consent. Neither of us could swim a lick. And the creek bottom was littered with craggy rocks, both large and small. If we fell, we could drown. ( The voice of doom………errrrr rather Mom). That was contentment, both in the doing and in the secrecy of the adventure.
Pleasure was tromping through the woods, the air icy and laden with snow. Barren grapevines hanging from trees, just begging to be used to propel ourselves across branches. All around was a stillness, the only sounds the rasp of our breaths as we climbed our way to the top of the ravine we had decided to explore. There was a cedar tree, surrounded by honeysuckle vines long stripped of their leaves by winter’s frigid air. And under these vines was a cave…..dark and dank, but just right for 2 girls to curl up in. It was our lair, a clubhouse of sorts. One we told few about.
Today, pleasure costs money or involves travel, possessions or other people. I am still a simple soul, much preferring a beautiful sunset to going shopping. My Grandchildren are going to benefit from my memories, I think. I plan to take them walking as soon as it is cold enough. I want them to hear the silence of the woods and see the beauty of that silence. To know peace and inner happiness comes from within ourselves and can’t be bought at the local Wal-Mart for any amount of money. Our parents taught us that. For that I am thankful.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
The Smell of Freedom...........or Dog
Now, having a pet is a wonderful thing. I mean I have fish and turtles, even a few cats outside, both wild and tame. What potential problem could one more little animal possibly cause? When my son asked me about getting these jacks, I was tickled to death at his thoughtfulness and caring for me and my little sister. We would have one apiece, to train, love and care for. Being in the barn and around animals would bring back memories of helping Daddy and be all to the good. Little sister has little time since she works, but I thought, well hey, I do nothing all day. I can feed and water these babies all alone. An added bonus was that I’d have to leave the house and get some exercise for a change. The depression makes it hard for me to get motivated, but I will do what has to be done, be it cooking, laundry or feeding. A noble endeavor with the added benefit that he could possibly be trained to pull a cart for my Grandsons……..
So yesterday, I left the house in the gusting wind, sweats and shoes on with a hoodie zipped up tight to my chin. I tromped uphill and across the lawn of my parent’s house to the barn, unlatched the front gate and went into the shadowy barn. I opened the stall and there they stood……….two beautiful sweet jacks giving me the evil eye. I could tell they had already been fed sweet feed and corn since some was still in the trough. I thought well, gee, I’ll grab em up some of this hay and put in here for them to much on later. After the 2 first armfuls of loose hay I pulled from the bale were in the trough, I turned my back and went back for one more, leaving the door to the stall open just like we have done all week. These animals were so afraid they never ventured to the door much less out of it. I heard a commotion as I grasped the last handful of hay and looked behind me……….and there was Zeke…………my ass, galloping out the stall door with a dead-eye beam on my little sister’s dog! He ran by me full gallop….or as full as a short jackass can get. I was thing oh my God…….what now. He is chasing this little speckled dog all over the lot in front of the barn and the dog runs towards the gate…….when suddenly I realized the gate wasn’t fastened!/ It wasn’t even pulled all the way closed!
I ran forward with my hands full of hay, yelling and waving it around to frighten the ass back away from the gate. The dog escaped under that darn gate and the ass stopped dead still and stared at me like I was an idiot. I was so humiliated! I ran to the gate and fastened it and turned around….and noticed the other ass had smelled freedom as well and joined his partner in crime. I slapped my pocket searching for my phone…which I had of course left at home. The house next to the barn lot is another of my sons and they were gone. My little sister was gone as well and I had no keys with me to get in to use her phone. So I walked around the lot, checked all the gates and stumbled for home.
When I got home, my daughter was on the phone. I said……….come on Windi. My ass got out. I need some help. Now! She yelled Mom’s ass has run off and she would call em back and we ran out the door lickedy split for the barn……well we ran to her car and she drove us there but ..oh well. I called my son Duane, the son who gifted me with this nice, nice pet. I had orders I couldn’t run them up, it would scare them. I was supposed to come down in the morning, put food in their stall, hide, and when they entered to eat….run out and lock the door. I thought NO WAY! After a lot of debate, with my suggestions being shot down quickly, Duane got on the tractor to go to the pasture to get some……….errrrrrr…………hmmmmm….he called them something but I have forgotten. Basically they look like gates but can be used to make a catch pen, chute, etc. anywhere. While he was gone……….I politely placed an old gate across the hallway of the barn, opened their stall door wide and walked them around the barn. She pranced and frolicked as if they didn’t have a care in the world…..and proceeded to walk into their nice warm stall. He was so angry at me for having bested him. Soon as he got back, I turned around and came home, all the while knowing Mom shouldn’t have pushed the envelope. Tonight……….I received a phone call….not irate, just with attitude…….when he went to check them after work today…they tried to kick him. I wasn’t even there and it was MY fault. I give up……
Sunday, October 23, 2005
The Smell of Ass
Each and every day since I received the ass as an early Christmas present, I have treked up the hill and across a huge yard to play with my ass. But does he appreciate my thoughtfullness? NO!. I have yet to touch the thing more than a glancing blow as he backed away from my outstretched hand. Zeke isn't tame by any means. He and his......errrr.........stablemate are equally distant and scared of all humans. Go figure, me, who by no means is an accomplished brave woman, am now the owner of an ass that doesn't want to be petted.
Being of a noble nature, tho, I am determined that this ass will grow to accept me as his owner. To date, and I have only had him for a week, he is willing to eat sweet feed and corn from a bowl that I am holding out in front of me. But you can raise a hand to pet, and he runs away. Ah well, at least he doesn't turn his back to me anymore when I unlatch the stable gate. That is progress at least.
Yesterday as I entered the barn, dimly lit with the dust from hay and or manure wafting on the breeze, I encountered a horendous smell. I couldn't imagine anything smelling that bad.As I opened the stall door, my delicate nose was assaulted with the smell of manure. I looked at Zeke and Zeb and asked was that smell coming from them? Of course, they rolled there little eyes and stamped their hoofs..............which sent up another cloud of dust right into my eyes.
Why is it when we get older, our sense of smell seems to be enhanced? Sis and I spent countless hours locked into the dim barns of our childhood, constructing numerous mansions amoung the bales of hay. With hidden entrances, we could be assured of hours of time away from our pesky younger sisters. I don't remember it smelling that bad back then. I certainly don't remember the dust and smell stopping my nose up for days on end. It can't be the barn that smells so bad................so it must be the ass.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Re - Rooted and Lovin It
I grew up with homemade clothes and hand-me-downs. We lived well in those days. Now it seems if you don't have a certain name brand of jeans or type of tennis shoe you are trash. We grew all our own vegetables and most of the meat we ate, canning and freezing all summer to provide for the winter. Now a can of beans can cost as much as a dollar! And some weeks hot dogs and mac and cheese are gourmet fare. Sheesh!
Next year, I will have a garden and grow my own food. I am determined to become more self-reliant and less dependant on the government to decide if I can afford hamburger or steak this month. I don't have a lot of use for fancy anything, be it clothes or shoes. Barefoot is fine and old sweats work great for what my life is day to day.
My son gave me an early Christmas present.............a baby jackass. So cute....for now. I aim to buy me a few chickens and a couple of goats. Farmer Donna will be back in business this time next year. Maybe even a calf or two. Who knows where I will go.
Feels nice to be back. Sis has been riding me to start this up again so here I am Vicki. Not a funny from long ago, but oh well. I WILL be back with more. This is fun again, for now anyway. Bye yall!
Friday, October 07, 2005
HIJACKED



Love Ya, Vicki
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Memories of Daddy
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Missing Mom
For two years, we had no choice but to watch our Mom slowly wither away, dieing a bit each day; little by little she slipped farther and farther away from us. No matter how we prayed, what we did to help, she just gradually eased away into God’s hands. And goodness knows, if I had the power to restore her to us, I wouldn’t dream of it. Returning her to the suffering she underwent and the anguish we suffered while she endured it would be more than we could bear. Where she is now, she knows no pain, and for me personally, I know that she is in a far better place.
Dealing with Daddy after Mom died was tough on all of us. We couldn’t give in to our grief, because we had to take care of him. For Mom, he was the center of her universe, and once she could no longer care for him, us girls did. Some more than others, time, money, jobs and distance being what they are, nothing is equal. But, all in all, we did what we could when we could. That is all anyone can ask, and certainly all our parents asked of us.
Then come April, we lost Daddy - he was gone in the blink of an eye. We lost both parents in ten months. My family has been blown apart. Grief is a strange emotion - so much pain; so much anger - total helplessness and a lack of control. Human beings do not deal well with any of these and my family is no different. With the anger, people lash out, causing pain and hard feelings. And god knows me and my sisters are some of the most stubborn people ever to grace this earth. Greed is maybe a big part of it - not that I don’t want something to remember them by. We could lose it all, every piece of property, every possession, and I would still have my memories. No one can take them from me. Those are mine, precious thoughts to brighten my days and warm my heart.
I wish I could fix what is broken in our family. I miss the team effort, the sharing and caring we always had no matter who was mad. We knew we could depend on one another, regardless. What should have brought us closer together has driven us apart. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know if I should even make the effort. For what it’s worth - Happy Birthday Sis. I love you. I love all of you - no matter what.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
MEMORY MEME
The rules:Remove the #1 item from the following list, bump everyone up one place and add your blog's name in the #5 spot. You need to link to actually link to each of the blogs for the link-whorage aspect of this fiendish meme to kick in.
1. Fistful of Fortnights
2. Feisty Repartee
3. Lollygaggin
4. Junebugg
5. Lifedroppings
MY MEMORIES:
1. I miss wading thru the creek barefoot, dodging sharp rocks and snakes; attempting to catch minnows by hand; cool clear water flowing over and between my toes on a hot summer day.
2. I miss Mama, she was my best friend, my confident, my release valve when life got to be too much. She was there, always.
3. I miss the carefree days of childhood, days when, once chores were done, allowed a freedom from life's stresses and cares that I will never again have.
4. I miss the love of my family, the acceptance and caring that were unconditional. The feeling of belonging and rightness of being part of a group held together by friendship and respect.
5. I miss walking barefoot behind Daddy's plow as he cultivated the garden early in the spring, soft, cool red clay covering my feet as the plow tore the hard crust from the soil. I even miss him yelling at me to not mess up his rows and having to plant tomatoes from only ONE side of the row else the row would be crooked.
I Tag:
1. Compleat Redneck
2. War Liberal
3.Possumblog
4. The Dissident frogman
5. Redneckin
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Southern Rules
Not mine yall.........I 'borrowed' it. I don't have a clue who wrote it either. But I agree with every word. Enjoy!
In an effort to help outsiders understand the rules of the Southerner's mind, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter a Southern State. (These actually should be the rules in all states.)
1. That farm boy you see at the gas station did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lincoln Navigator. Drive it or get it out of the way!
3. ! The red dirt -- it's called clay. Red clay. If you like the color, don't wash your car for a couple weeks -- it'll be permanent.
4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw that Bambi movie, too. We got over it
.5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis fly rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle . We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for: bait.
6. Pull your pants up! You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at the time.
8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
9. Tea -- yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and it's sweet. You want it hot? Set it in the sun. You want it unsweetened? Add a lot of water.
10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice!
11. You have a sixty-thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million-dollar combine that we only use two weeks a year.
12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
13. We eat dinner together with our families. We pray before we eat--yeah, even breakfast. We go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays, and we go to high school football games on Friday nights. We still address our seniors with "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am," and we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends and neighbors.
14. We don't do "hurry up" well.
15. Greens -- yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt on them. You boil them with salty fatback, bacon or a smoked hog jowl.
16. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream, and carp. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available down at the bait shop.
17. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 75 goes two ways. Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one.
18. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on them. If you want to put milk and sugar on them, then you want cream of wheat -- go to Kansas. That would be I-40 West.
19. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season or dove season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight at the church on either day.
20. So every person in every pickup truck waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?
21. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the gators --and, if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players.
22. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot --his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is.
23. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them . You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a souvenir on your hood.
24. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions.The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them -- enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner.
American by Birth, Southern by the Grace of God.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
To Boob or Not to Boob
For as far back as anyone has kept a written record, it seems women have always aspired to have large breasts, often employing ingenious methods of achieving the figure of their dreams. These oft times deceptive and devious contraptions of boob-u-lar enhancement varied with the age of the lady / girl needing to boost both her ego and her miniscule mammary tissue. From the age of puberty, anywhere from the 5th Grade to the 7th in most cases, gym class always a shocking proposition for those not yet caught up in the quest for unnatural chest enhancement. There they were, the same girls who you sat by during Math Class and History, changing into their gym clothes in the Dressing Room, the space above their ribcage either flat as a griddle cake, or already sprouting fledgling breasts, always, always encased in one of those white Training Bras with a tiny bow stuck front and center, the center made of a soft stretchy elastic-like fabric and not even a real cup designed to hold a breast. Considering they HAD no real breasts, I suppose this made some sort of sense. It always made me wonder what the Hell they were supposed to train them to do? I mean, I have to ask here, what tricks can the average Breast perform? It isn’t like they can “Sit Up“, or “Play Dead”.
And then, there was the other class of preteen girl, the ones who wanted breasts desperately but whom God hadn’t seen fit to bless with them. These girls were very imaginative in their methods of achieving their goal, that of appearing to have been turned into a women so as to not be left behind by all their overachieving classmates in the hierarchy of Boob-dom. These girls, in their quest for maturity and ergo, popularity with the males of the species, employed inventive methods of reaching the desired goal. Something as simple as a box of tissues, filched from home, could be and were inserted into a once empty bra, in a clandestine way, of course, giving the appearance of being all grown up. One of the dire consequences of tissue, I was told, was that not only did they rustle when you moved, they also, once mashed flat by something pushing against your chest, refused to plump back into their previous curvaceous form. One of the benefits of the tissue-filled bra had to be that if anyone found out that your budding figure came from a cardboard box rather than nature, you always had something to blow your nose on when you burst into tears of humiliation. Also used were gym socks, clean it has to be hoped, being likewise used as filler. These were difficult to use, being hard to the touch when rolled tightly and shoved into an empty bra and giving a lumpy appearance to the outside of your clothes. Both of these methods left a lot to be desired, I would think, the necessity of having to purchase and wear a bra that you had nothing to put into and then hiding it from your Mother would be enough to daunt even the most stout hearted. Added to that, once you had on the aforementioned bra, where did you conceal yourself to perform the necessary stuffing? It HAD to be finished before you got to school, so ……….on the School Bus? The Girl’s bathroom, after a mad dash into the school from the bus with your books glued to your chest in hopes no one would notice you were less amply endowed than the previous day? To say nothing of the hassle to maintain the overstuffed-bra look once you had completed the goal. This ritual would have to be carried out every day, which meant going through the same trials over and over, for under no circumstances could a girl, once publicly very Boob-a-lis-tic-ly gifted in public, go back to being flat as a tire that had been punctured by a sharp nail.
I have thought maybe there was a “Boob Gene”, an inherited cellular thing that caused generation after generation of massive Boobs to sprout in families, but apparently that isn’t the case. My Mother was “NORMAL” in the bustline, as were her Mother and her sisters. But for some ungodly reason, I and my four sisters were overly blessed by the Tittie Fairy, that fictional nymph of some otherworldly beginnings who flitters around with one broken wing, a bent halo and a crooked wand, bestowing burgeoning mammary glands to innocent female children in the dead of night while they dream of ways to get even with mean little boys. The little witch apparently imbibes heavily, for on occasion she stays too long on her visit (likely passed out from drink! ) and some unsuspecting little girl awakes the next morning with these horrible, embarrassing growths protruding from her once level chest. That is likely what occurred at my house, an explanation that while Mom was average, the 5 sisters of my family went from being the Boob-less wonders to Boob-a-licious in a short fashion. Personally, I remember having……..errrrr….. breasts far before any of my classmates. This not only brought unwanted attention from the males in my class, but also the unwarranted accusations of my females classmates of my own practice of Bra-Tampering in any form. Young ladies, regardless of what one might think, are spiteful and hateful to their peers when they have something they yearn for so anxiously and do not have.
High school brings changes in a girl’s life, for the boys who once wanted to harass and belittle the girls become creatures of Testosterone……..when the manly urge make them take notice of a girls figure and stand at attention, so to speak. Of course, Vicki, being the oldest, kind of blazed a trail for me and my younger sisters. I remember the exact summer when her boobs first got notice. While walking down the gravel road we lived on to a neighbor girl’s house, two of the “older” boys, teenagers who rode the same school bus as us, whistled and called out “Woo-Hoo! Teenie Boppers!”. They also mentioned how Sis had grown up over the summer. I was embarrassed for her, I must say. Bad enough that your very own body was betraying you in this hideous way, but for a guy to actually notice and comment! And it only got worse. Beings as I was only a couple of years younger than Sis, we took to rambling together. Although I couldn’t date, I could and did go on her dates…………as a would-be chaperone…….to parties and movies and such. The problem was, although I was interested in boys, they talked to my breasts instead of me! And being barely 5 feet tall, they had the opportunity to sneak a peek from their loftier height anytime they got close. From the age of 15 or so, both Vicki and I were more than amply endowed. It was a chore to buy bras much less find clothing that fit. And buying a bikini was next to impossible, for it the bra fit, the bottom fell off. If the bottom fit, it was a struggle to cram all the boob into the tiny cup, always leaving excess boob hanging from the sides or the bottom. Disgusting and not at all allowable by a Father who was sure that all the male animals in the world were just waiting to pounce on us the minute we walked into the world and removed our shirts!
With age comes wisdom, and alas, in my case, boobs. As the years have went by, I have learned many things in life are unfair. The disadvantages of being large chested far outweigh the advantages. Running of any sort became virtually impossible, for not only was it painful it was logistically difficult to see past the boobs flying up in your face with every step. Bras to fit me and most of my sisters generally have to be ordered, as stores have so little call for them they don’t stock them. And a discount store carry them ? No Way! The cost alone is anywhere from $25 to $40. Finding a button-up shirt is a aggravation, for if it fits across the shoulders, it will surely gap open across the chest, straining butt holes to the limits. Add the chronic back and shoulder pain and the deep grooves that wide bra straps, burdened with the task of supporting the weight of two large cantaloupes all day, cuts into both your shoulders. Mammograms, which as many know, Vicki discussed recently, are unbearable. While I understand the need to perform the x-rays, I would swear to you that the sex of the inventor had to have been male. No way would a woman force herself and millions of other women to undergo so painful an ordeal. That being said, if the man who invented the machine that tortures women daily worldwide would step forward, I, personally, would like to initiate him into the realm of Womanhood by placing his…….testicular organs into the slabs of glass and squashing the Bejesus out of them while he cringed and tried to pull away, about to scream in pain! I guarantee if men had to suffer that, there would soon be a new, less painful means of testing for Breast Cancer.
As I have gotten older, my breasts, while never perky due to the mass and weight encased inside, have no doubt sagged. Not far, mind you, for it is impossible to sag when a solid mass of tissue stands between them and my belly. Imagine folding over a full sack of dog food…..it won’t go flat as long as it is still full. And being short, I find that they are in very close proximity to my belly regardless. Makes a comfortable resting place at times. The main thing I have noticed as I have aged is sleeping on my back is more difficult. What once lay perfectly on my chest during sleep now has a tendency to fall over into my armpits, making lowering my arms difficult. It would, if I cared, be terribly humiliating for a woman who knows she is on the downward side of forty. Thank God I don’t care! Although going braless has never appealed to me for many reason, now days I look forward to the time when my house clears of teenagers and I can release the gruesome devise of torture I am forced to wear to protect the innocent daily. Although going braless did pay off for Sis once……..she entered a wet t -shirt contest and won a huge trophy. I can remember her bringing it into the parent’s house and them her trying to explain to Dad how she won it without causing a major explosion.
Far be it from me to whine and complain, but when I see these ladies who go to any expense and unnecessary pain in the pursuit of possessing deeper cleavage, it pisses me off! Here I am, overly Boob-u-lated and miserable, desiring nothing more than to wake in the morning to find a miracle, that my huge and monstrous breasts have shrank to a more normal and manageable size, that there are actually women who WANT them!
Monday, February 07, 2005
Thanks
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Donna's Life
There is a Demon in my life, looming large and always lurking around every corner with the intent to shatter my everyday world, spreading it’s gloom and doom to me and all who surround me. This monster is Depression. It drains the life out of me, taking away physical as well and mental strength. It saps the emotions from the soul of anyone who has it and effects those whose lives are connected. Nothing matters to me. I try to work up a bit of enthusiasm for ANYTHING and it is impossible. I can’t focus on an occupation for any amount of time. My mind wanders when I try to play a game or read a book. Concentrating long enough to watch a television program is useless. I get so tired sitting on the couch, I have to lie down and rest. I stay up all night because, even with a sleeping aid, I rarely sleep. Even when I do, I wake up exhausted and unable to function. I can barely make myself move, much less lead the active life I have always enjoyed. Most days, I don’t even want to try. The least thing makes me cry.
Suffering from Depression is bad enough, but even worse is no one understands how I feel. I can’t describe it to them, they just don’t get it. I have been told to “Snap out of it!’, or to “Get over it!” more times than I can count. Doesn’t anyone realize that no one would purposely choose to live this way? It is a living Hell, with no end; a succession of days when death looks like a release from the anguish of dealing with this everyday of the rest of my life. There is no cure and treatments have their own drawbacks. I have been on treatment for over 8 years, the pills no longer help that much. The Doctor suggested doubling them, I can’t do that. The medicines used to treat it, over a period of time, kills whatever emotions I have that still work. I feel dead inside, my life is hopelessly spiraling downward and I don’t have a clue how to stop it. I am afraid, the future looks very bleak for me, and I don’t know where to find the strength to get up everyday. I am tired, so deathly tired that doing anything is a chore. Simply putting on my clothes is a major undertaking. I struggle everyday to just make it till bedtime, and God willing, to find the energy to rise once again in the morning.
I haven’t given up, not by a long shot. This ole gal won’t go down easy. I have fought every day for the past eight years and will continue to until my last breath. I will be back, ya’ll, that I promise. I have licked this before and will again. But today, please, for me, just ask God to send some strength to me, cause I truly need it.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Mama Will Never Know
Living as a child in a rural area had many negative aspects in a lot of ways, the distance to town being one of several. ( Another was telephone party lines - but that’s a different tale altogether).Even if families could have afforded a second vehicle, many women of an older generation just never learned how to drive. This being so, during the daylight hours while most husbands worked a public job, these women were tied to home, with no way to go shopping or anything else. In order to survive this obstacle, neighbor women borrowed from another neighbor women, everything from flour and sugar to help get dinner on the table to different types of non-prescription medicines that were needed by their families. My family was no different. My Mom and the old lady across and down the road a bit often utilized borrowing as a way to make it through the day. A fact that I lived to regret…
I was about ten, and the eldest sister at home, Vicki being off some where on an overnight with a cousin (not real sure where…but we only got to stay with relatives in those days). The older lady down the road had sent her tiny grandson with a note bearing a request for my Mama to allow her to borrow………..something. Sure enough, my Mama had the required article - medicine (I know this because she went to the closet in the kitchen and dug behind the curtain where she kept ALL the stuff we weren’t supposed to mess with or even know about!) My downfall began when Mama came to the conclusion that the little boy wasn’t competent or trustworthy enough to deliver the goods to his Grandmother. Unfortunately, being the oldest daughter at home, I was recruited to venture down the dusty gravel road, dragging my next younger sister behind me. I should have just stayed at home.
As I think back, being the lofty age of ten seemed to have given a gal thoughts of her own superiority over those of a lesser age. A feeling of grandeur if you will. As the two ‘youngsters’ sped along several feet in front of me, I recall ambling along at a sedate pace, my bare feet kicking up little puffs of dust with every step, and the sun beaming it’s golden rays on my bare arms and legs. Soon they were several yards in front of me, nearly to the driveway of the other house, but still in view. And, I must admit it here, my curiosity was aroused by the tiny blue and white box clutched tightly in my sweaty palm. What could so small a box contain that was so important that a little boy couldn’t possibly make it just a short walk down the road with it intact? I had to know, so I peeled open that pretty little box and there inside was something wrapped in tin foil. I peeped back over my shoulder to see if Mama was watching - no - I was safe, the barn blocked the view of our house. If I couldn’t see her, she certainly couldn’t see me. The kids had ventured into the driveway of the neighbor’s place, and again, I was blocked from sight, this time by tall weeds growing along the narrow ditch at the edge of the road. Now, I could open that shiny tin foil package and discover what was such a deep, dark secret. Much to my surprise - IT WAS CHOCOLATE!! My Mama was hoarding chocolate!
My Mama was a true southern lady, fairness was her motto - she preached it at us all our lives. How dare she hide this beautiful chocolate from her five darling daughters? As I began to examine my booty, I realized the squares were teeny tiny and a few were missing. There were only four of the blocks of candy left. Someone had been into this luscious dark chocolate candy. And we didn’t get any! I gave Mama the benefit of the doubt when I saw how few remained of this treasure, only four, and with five starving children--- well --- my first thought was that she was being fair-minded when she decided that none of us getting a treat was better than one being left out of the goodies. But wait, that meant that at some point, her or Daddy has snuck a bite when we weren’t looking! That was even worse. How unfair life seems when you are a child….
A golden opportunity was presenting itself to me - a chocoholic from birth - this was most definitely NOT the best time to taunt a candy deprived little girl! We got weekly installments of sweets from the country store a few miles away most every weekend, but Mama was pretty strict about rationing it out to us. So here I was, chocolate malnourished---and with that sweet looking candy sitting right smack in the middle of my perspiring little hand. Only four small squares, not a lot, but in my adolescent mind I reasoned that the borrower didn’t know how much the lender was
sending….so if I ate one or two…who would be the wiser? There would surely be less in the box when it was returned that what there was when mama sent it. Logical…right?
I stopped walking and stood dead still in the middle of that narrow country road, out of sight of both my destination and home. Should I? Who would know? Would I be sent straight to Hell for just one teeny taste of chocolate? I couldn’t resist the temptation of that little box. I had to have a bite! I just had to! I carefully pulled out the flap stuck into the end of the box, being very careful not to make any tears on the edges. As I eased the small foil wrapped package from the box, I was hopeful that no one could tell that it had been tampered with. Peeling the tin foil gently away from the treat, I delicately broke off a small section to taste. Realizing how truly tiny the piece of candy was, I decided that two was more generous, after all it was late afternoon and I was hungry. It also evened the remaining sections out. I popped that wonderful smelling candy into my mouth, expecting the sweet gooey rush of chocolate heaven to flood onto my tongue and fill my mouth with a fantastic sensation. What was this? It was bitter! No heady rush of sensual pleasure! No taste buds tingling with the burst of sugar straight into my system! I had been conned! What kind of chocolate looked like a child’s version of heaven and tasted like dirt?
I was trapped with that nasty fake chocolate melting into a viscous ball of foul tasting gunk inside my mouth. And I couldn’t spit it out! If my little sister saw on the ground on the it on the way home, she would surely tell Mama and I would be busted. I had to make myself swallow it, no matter what! Finally I forced it down my throat, gagging and nearly heaving with every swallow. My teeth felt like they were coated with mud and the top of my tongue was so gritty and disgusting I could hardly bear it. I had to have water and soon! So I did what any red-blooded American kid would do - I meticulously re-wrapped the tin foil around the remaining blocks of chocolate and painstakingly replaced it inside the tiny blue and white box and closed the flap. Then I slapped on my “WHO ME?” innocent face and hurried on my way.
As I got to the neighbor’s driveway, my throat was so dry I could hardly croak. Added to that, the neighbor lady met me on the porch waiting for the ‘medicine’ and talking a mile a minute. I was going to choke to death any second now! Being raised to be polite to my elders was a curse that day--near impossible to carry on a conversation interspersed with “Yes, Ma‘am” and “No Ma‘am” while trying to keep your lips closed (chocolate has a way of clinging to the teeth and I wanted no evidence available to use against me). Finally I asked for a drink of water, anxious to be on my way home. I was saved….. A full glass of frigidly cold, clear and sparkling well water, straight from the dipper resting in the metal bucket in the cool kitchen of her home! Hurrying my sister to the door, we set out for home and safety. I was in the clear for sure. Mama would never know of my misdeed and all was good in my little world.
By the time we walked into the yard at home, Daddy was due in from work. Mama was setting supper on the dining room table as we went into the house and we and the others washed our hands and prepared to eat. As Mama ladled food onto our plates and poured our glass of milk, I sat in my allotted chair and readied myself for a feast. UMMMM! Homemade stew and cornbread, my favorite meal. As I sat there waiting for my bowl to cool, I felt a rumble deep in my belly, an ominous sign to be sure. The steam from the food and the aroma that only seconds before were so appetizing were beginning to make my forehead break out into a sweat and I began to get a salty taste deep in my throat. I was going to be sick!
I dashed from the table out the back door and bolted for the outhouse just seconds short of disgracing myself. As I rounded the corner of the shed at a run I began to pray to every God I had ever heard mention of and a few more besides. I had to make it! Finally I flung open the heavy outhouse door all the while trying to wrench my shorts down below my hips. Can you imagine running with your legs crossed at the thigh, your butt cheeks clenched so tight that your is face screwed into a grotesque grimace of severe pain and all the while trying to prevent the noxious bile that is crawling up the inside of your throat from leaping out of your mouth like a river spewing from a busted dam.I was about to die and I knew it…
Redemption came as my fanny hit the toilet seat, and not a second too soon either, for as soon as I got seated, foul smelling liquid became to erupt in torrents from my backside. The stagnant afternoon air inside that small outhouse was already rancid with the stench of…..the numerous daily deposits made by my family. All I seemed to be doing was stirring that smell to even nastier realms! I sat there for what seemed like hours, disgusted tears pouring down my hot, flushed cheeks and other less mentionable body fluids shooting from a lower portion of my anatomy. When the rumbling finally slowed to a muted growl in my belly, I cleaned myself up, got dressed and wiped my nose. Mama would surely know what I had done. Time to face the music….
Returning to the house and the others still sitting at the supper table was probably the hardest thing I had ever done. Usually my sister Vicki was my culprit in crime and shared half the blame for our frequent scrapes with the wild side of life, but this time, I was on my own. I told Mama I was sick and wasn’t hungry. I was sent to bed with a cool fan blowing on me and a damp cool rag on my forehead. If doing without a meal that I couldn’t have eaten anyway was all the punishment I was going to receive I counted myself a very lucky little girl. I was so sick all night that I had to resort to many more mad sprints to the outhouse. I think I paid heavily for my sins in a lot of ways, even though Mama never discovered what I had done.
I did learn several valuable lessons from this escapade, though. They have stayed with me all my life. Not everything that looks like candy is necessarily candy. Another is that if your parent thinks you are at an age to be responsible and discriminating - then be that! The last one I know as a definite fact, and should be stressed to the fullest - NEVER! I repeat NEVER eat a candy called Ex-Lax!